His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Come to Him with weariness, brokenness, addiction, failures, all that I am. Rest from burdens. Not deliverance but rest. He doesn’t want my burdens as much as He wants me. He gives the gift of being preferred to me. He is smitten with me. With me. With you. He comes along side me and carries that cross when I can’t take another step. I feel the lightening when I see the Light of the world. His grace renews an exhausted soul. Easy, light. Letting go. Giving up. Surrender. The Promised Land.
May my heart always be fertile ground for You. I pray there would be no calluses rubbed by the school of hard knocks. As I walk ever closer in your presence, my spirit is turned toward You–a flower always seeking the sun’s face. The warmth felt there in Your arms as my heart is held in Your loving hands. The knowledge in the forefront of my mind that it’s all good, even if it’s not all good. You are good. Do I really need to know anything else?
An inviting, comfy chair. Included in the package, a place for resting weary feet. A corner of the world in which to unwind while looking out of the sunroom’s sliding doors, masquerading as windows. Seasons change, weather plays no role here. From sunrise to sunset and back again. Ever available. This is our meeting place. A secluded spot to rendezvous with the Lover of my soul. The grace-Giver. As I sit at the table opposite of this chair, head bowed, searching for answers, the answer to all answers comes. It’s not about finding the answers, it’s about finding Him. The One Who never leaves the chair or my side.
“Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
While waiting on God to move can be difficult, frustrating and time-consuming, it’s in the wait the we are renewed. Renewed-changed for the better. Made stronger by exercising our spiritual muscles. In the waiting we are made perfect. Completed, fully accomplished. His workmanship. Our lives are a poem being written, a tapestry in working. May we never grow weary of doing good. Working on His behalf in the waiting. As He is working on ours in the silence, in the no tangible evidence of answered prayer. It’s not the answered prayer that He wants us to desire, it’s the journey to the Promised Land. The shedding of all that hinders and weighs down, the stripping off of old habits, the dying to self that can be excruciating. The fat of this world that makes our souls lean. Take up that fragile faith and presss on, always mindful of the prize. Jesus Christ.
I am never more free than when I’m completely dependent on You.
You fill all of the blank spaces in my life.
Life is found in knowing that You are in control.
Control by human standards appears as a mirage, a fleeting image of hope turned hopeless.
Hopeless and desperate, I turn to you.
You make me dependent.
Dependent, I am free.
Twenty-three years of doing life. Sharing baby showers, Halloween gatherings, Christmas dinners, cookouts, worship, feeding on His Word. Brothers and sisters in Christ. Family through His blood. Friends through His grace. Names change: First Baptist Sugar Hill, The Family Church, Sugar Hill Church. Sunday School, Growth Groups. Our hearts are bound forever together. Eternally in Him.
The emptiness within.
July 21, 2017
Years of being a loner and feeling most lonely in the midst of a crowd have taught me that my loneliness is a part of who I am. That deep corner of my heart where cobwebs have gathered and cries of longing to belong echo the alienation. That ache when catching a glimpse of girlfriends gathered to do girl things. That feeling of awkwardness which explodes on the scene and shuts down any kind of coherent conversation. The stark terror at the thought of a social event. Envying the ease in which some fearlessly and gracefully flow through relationships.
It’s in the corner of that closed-off room where God has met me time and time again. He has filled the emptiness of my soul with the overflowing nurture of His Presence. In this room, I am most comfortable, most welcomed and most loved. In this room, I am confident of His love and loneliness becomes a whisper in the wind. In His presence I belong.